When I was an all in wrestler <br />I was known as `andsome Arch. <br />I always wore tails and a bow tie, <br />And me dicky that had too much starch. <br /> <br />They came for miles to see me, <br />I was so good on the mat <br />I could fling a chap from the ring <br />Without taking off me top hat.. <br /> <br />I`d beaten the best in the country <br />Then they found an opponent for me <br />A woman of gigantic proportions, <br />Her name was fat Fanny McFee <br /> <br />It was, I recall, at the Royal Albert Hall <br />Where we met that September night, <br />She looked somewhat shocking in her pink body stocking, <br />That was several sizes too tight, <br /> <br />When she squeezed my head my toenails went red, <br />She squeezed me windpipe to cut off me breff, <br />And to my disgust she stuffed me head twixed her bust, <br />And I thought that I`d gone bleedin` deaf. <br /> <br />She made my blood race when she sat on my face <br />I don’t like my face sat upon, <br />And it drives me to drink these days when I think, <br />Where my little nose must have gone. <br /> <br />She picked me up, twirled me round, flung me up, slammed me down, <br />She was handling me like a prawn, <br />Then down on the deck, her thighs round me neck, <br />Poo twas like Billingsgate market at dawn. <br /> <br />She pulled me hair, tweeked me nose, bit me ear, broke me toes, <br />She had brought me to my knees, <br />But it all got quite tricky when she grabbed hold me dicky, <br />And gave it on hell of a squeeze. <br /> <br />I shouted, “ That`s it I submit, I submit”. <br />Well my dicky was precious to me, <br />That`s when I swore I would wrestle no more, <br />All because of Fat Fanny McFee.<br /><br />archie langford<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-all-in-wrestler/
