Bending over the sink <br />I can feel the throbbing of my pulse in my ears. <br />The fear of what I'll see when I look in the mirror <br />keeps me rinsing for a few extra minutes <br />seeking comfort in the warm rush of water <br />over my head. <br /> <br />It's time. <br />It's time to release her <br />and feel no shame. <br /> <br />Out of the corner of my eye <br />the washcloth smudged with tans, pinks, and black <br />reminds me how much I've grown to count on <br />this disguise. <br />The safety of blonde hair washes down the drain <br />too quickly to stop it once it's started. <br />The blonde will be gone when I stand up. <br />The last shield from my true self...removed. <br />I grab a towel in the hopes of delaying the sight <br />I've dreaded since I was fourteen. <br /> <br />Standing up I see a woman in the mirror <br />looking back at me with a probing stare. <br />She had been hiding for so long <br />behind haircolor and makeup. <br />Finally she is free. <br />Today I stand here looking at her <br />naked faced with her natural haircolor <br />for the first time since childhood <br />and I hear myself say... <br />''So this is what I would've looked like <br />if I hadn't hated myself.''<br /><br />Mary Nagy<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/so-this-is-what-i-would-ve-looked-like-if-i-hadn/
