Death to my old way of life, bring on the new; <br />Ever I am changing, if only I knew what to do; <br />Can I stay the way that I am and love those who loved me; <br />Or must I live alone and change, but for what and who... there is now only me; <br />I loved, but what good did it do to love the ones I loved before, <br />The ones who ironically I still admire and adore, <br />Even though they do not love me anymore; <br />What good did it do to repent of my wicked ways <br />To the ones who were in the path of my previous days; <br />To what extent must I forgive those who don't care about me, <br />Without selfishly holding on, to who I was or even who I want to be? <br />These questions may not make sense to you, but to me they plague my soul; <br />I am unhappy, and wondering when my heart will be complete again and whole; <br />I am unhappy, not because of them, but because I cannot please them at all; <br />I am very fragile and weak, and no longer do I stand tall, <br />For I am ashamed of the past, and hope this shame does not forever last; <br />Inside my soul the weather there is rough, overcast. <br />I can't clean the weeds in my heart, because part of my heart belongs to someone who is far away, <br />And I am afraid she won't forgive me, no matter what I do or say, <br />So I am burdened with a pain I cannot bear, <br />And I know that my joy is inside me, oh but where? <br /> <br />Copyright © 2006 Chad Fisher<br /><br />chad fisher<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/death-to-my-old-way-of-life/
