Aunt Celia had said she dropped dead last week <br />and so she was buried alive next to her four cats and a dog <br />in the City's cemetery next to the fertilizer plant <br />where the grounds permeate green grass year round and the dead <br />it is said are reported to come back to life every night to mow the lawn <br />My brother said she looked good for someone of her advanced years <br />what with her full facial makeup on and a diet soda can lodged in her hand <br />in place of the usual scotch and soda on which she had choked <br />while swallowing a load of crap from her husband Charlie <br />when he and his mistress were caught in a compromising position <br />out in the shed behind the house where she was said to have seen Charlie <br />standing behind Cleo with his trousers down around his ankles and Cleo's dress rode up <br />over her head as she was supposedly looking for a mouse.....a trouser mouse <br />Aunt Celia always said she would kill Uncle Charlie if she ever caught him <br />and that she did and having shot him with a.357 in the groin she turned to shoot Cleo <br />But not before Cleo had parted Aunt Celia's sweet grey head with a rusted dull axe <br />My sister said the funeral was beautiful and smelled good as well as being attended <br />by all her friends the local gossip mongers along with their significant others <br />whose shoes were too small for their feet <br />So with broken toes she and a half dozen flies <br />were buried alive next to her four cats and two dogs <br />one of whom was Uncle Charlie..... Cleo was there with a smile like a Cheshire <br />but the cat had her tongue as she had been let off for time served... <br /> <br />2007 © T Sheridan<br /><br />Ted Sheridan<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/i-want-to-be-cremated-so-i-can-t-return-from-the-dead/
