I have a hole in the top of my head where something is living <br />It has formed a little skin covered hut under my hair <br />I wash it everyday and handing it a towel it dries itself <br />It gets angry when I poke at it and it throbs until I leave it alone <br />It also likes to read <br />Today it was reading what I wrote yesterday <br />It gets mad when I mention its existence <br />Because it is in denial <br />It believes I am a part of it <br />It tells me what it is thinking <br />But I don’t care <br />I just rub some antibiotic on it and self medicate <br />With some beer or some rum <br />It doesn’t drink or smoke <br />It just feeds off of me <br />Sucking blood from my body and creating infectious examples <br />Of what happens to people when they get old <br />I’m thinking about operating on it <br />Amputating its desire to create a social welfare system <br />Of which I want no part <br />It demanded an entitlement and a larger allowance <br />I tried to teach it self reliance <br />But it believes me to be expendable <br />It voted for the Communist Party in the last election <br />I’m a tried and true Capitalist and I cancelled out its vote <br />It threatened to revolt <br />It stayed up all night playing the Beatles “White Album” <br />I gave into its demands but later <br />I started to apply some pressure on it <br />When I squeezed it and popped its core <br />It bled for ten minutes….pink puss <br />Then it dialed 911 and pressed charges against me <br />For assault <br />The verdict ended in a hung jury <br />They didn’t believe either one of our stories <br />Another “What came first” situation <br />Me or the egg on my head <br />Time for another O.J. and vodka<br /><br />Ted Sheridan<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/wholy-moley/
