Life with an eating disorder is a life of pain <br />yes, i Will eat. but just enough to get by. or just enough to show the world that i do eat <br />there are occasional binges <br />the guilt is horrid. i have to purge right away. if i do not, i feel like i must suffer <br />the next step is self harm to pay for what i have done <br />never will i be thin enough, pretty enough. never ever will i be enough <br />many can't understand this way of life. <br />when my life is in complete turmoil and i can't seem to get a grip, my mind tells me one thing. <br />if i can starve myself, then i am in control. issue's and chaos are weighing me down. <br />so long without eating properly with cloud your thought's. the most awful mood swings. the smallest of issues seems like the end of the world. <br />keeping to myself. no motivation to live anymore. so weak i must force myself to even wash my hair. <br />it actually took 3 days to put a piece of paper in an envelope. still haven't put a stamp on it <br />my dog is never hungry. all the food i bring in my room is for him. <br />now my arms are covered in scars and fresh cuts. i am angry and i lash out at everyone and everything <br />the truth is i am sad <br />my chest hurts and my breathing is slow <br />will this ever stop? honestly i think no <br />this disease has consumed my life, and this shell of a being who used to be me<br /><br />neo riddick<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/consumed-part-1/
