Starring down the barrel of a hot bedded 45 <br /> <br />Just wondering... <br /> <br />What has my life come to? <br /> <br />As I lean back to forget whats happened <br /> <br />I let up on the guns safety <br /> <br />Knowing theres a single round waiting in the chamber <br /> <br />Slowly I raise the gun... <br /> <br />I release my finger of the trigger guard... <br /> <br />Just to put it on the trigger it self <br /> <br />As memories fly through my mind I start to cry <br /> <br />Trying to figure out... <br /> <br />What have I done? <br /> <br />I realize I'm not as happy as I want to be <br /> <br />I press my head hard against my pillow <br /> <br />Still tears poor down my face <br /> <br />As I remember the name... <br /> <br />I realize I can't give up <br /> <br />I made promises <br /> <br />I intend to keep <br /> <br />Crying like a baby <br /> <br />Trying to figure out what happened last night <br /> <br />I slowly put the gun down <br /> <br />As I let up on the magazine release <br /> <br />The magazine hits the floor with a loud bang <br /> <br />Pulling hard on the slide <br /> <br />The bullet ejects and falls next to me <br /> <br />I lay staring at the ceiling <br /> <br />Still wondering... <br /> <br />What would have happened if I had pulled the trigger?<br /><br />Matthew Cole<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/still-wondering/
