It’s ten past two, I’m not doing very well, <br />Day one of the diet, I’m in calorie hell. <br />Cal counting, carbs and fat intake, <br />I’m beginning to think this was a mistake. <br />The fight against cravings is driving me insane, <br />Who’d know healthy eating would be this much of a pain? <br />Carols size ten arse has just walked in, <br />With a tray of tea and a biscuit tin. <br />She then politely declined the sweet taste of a bourbon, <br />She’d probably prefer to dip celery, the moron. <br />It’s Friday and my turn to bring in the cakes, <br />I sit and stare as they’re wolfed down by rakes. <br />Refuse even a bite, then they tell me they’re proud, <br />They don’t know I scoffed two when no one was around. <br />I’m feeling bad now, like I’ve cheated myself, <br />For that moment of heaven I’ve jeopardised my health. <br />I’ll balance it by avoiding the booze this weekend, <br />Yeah, because that wont drive me around the bend. <br />Well, it’s weigh day, it’s my turn soon, <br />Once again, I am the fattest in the room, <br />“Two pounds on dear, how’d you manage that? ” <br />Because I’ve not had a shit yet, you skinny tw@! <br />I’ll start again Monday, With a fresh clear mind, <br />And work once again on shrinking my behind. <br />I’ll get there eventually, it’ll just take time, <br />I wont always be a villain of the cake eating crime. <br />As God as my witness, I will be thin, <br />Just as soon as I kill Carol with that bloody biscuit tin.<br /><br />lindsey ashton<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/does-my-bum-look-big-in-this-2/
