I'll not ever know <br />why your heart turned; <br />why that door closed. <br /> <br />I'll not know if it was cruelty <br />or my own frailties. <br /> <br />But even if I knew <br />it was you <br />then <br />how could I reform <br />you? <br /> <br />Could I convince you that <br />you and I were best <br />and that she was <br />at best <br />manipulative <br />and in time <br />would <br />take that same heart <br />that shunned me <br />and rip it <br />out and hand it back to you? <br /> <br />How can I predict this <br />and even if true <br />would my own anger <br />accept you back <br />for you <br />or only if I did <br />it would be <br />an empty victory lap <br /> <br />and not you <br />I'd want. <br /> <br />If you were in fact not right for me <br />for whatever reasons there might be <br />I was right for you only in retrospect <br /> <br />since she had <br />lain in your bed <br />she had changed the you <br />I used to know <br />into the you <br />she'd hurt <br />and that is not the you <br />I'd want. <br /> <br />In all of this I am the me <br />I'd always been <br />the me I love best. <br /> <br />Hurt and harmed <br />heart-broken <br />and trembling <br />I 'm probably a better me <br />than you are a better you. <br /> <br />Much to ponder here <br />even <br />in this lonliness.<br /><br />Lonnie Hicks<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/better-in-this-lonliness/
