I see this in the glistening of her eyes <br />As she stares at me, mesmerized. <br /> <br />I see the disappointment, <br />it's plastered on her face. <br />In the icy stiffness <br />of what used to be a comforting embrace. <br /> <br />I know she's trying <br />to push past the thoughts in her head <br />About how she used to have happiness <br />but now has me instead. <br /> <br />She's wondering what she did <br />to deserve this mess. <br />How could her own daughter be the one <br />drowning her in sadness? <br /> <br />I realize, <br />as through her heart the pain sears, <br />That I'm the only reason <br />for her tears. <br /> <br />I know that she still loves me, <br />even if only out of obligation <br />But I'll cling to this strand of hope <br />out of pure desperation. <br /> <br /> <br />You please must understand <br />That none of this was planned. <br /> <br />Never did I intentionally <br />want to hurt you <br />I'm shattering your joy, your life <br />but know it's not something I purposefully do. <br /> <br />All the damage I've caused, <br />I can finally see <br />Just know <br />when you read this apology <br />That straight out my heart, this is from. <br />I'm sorry, mom.<br /><br />Payyton Egerstaffer<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/not-waving-but-drowning-3/
