As I hold this pen, <br /> <br />My mind shouts for suicide.. <br /> <br />I look to my side, <br /> <br />I see the shiny razor blade.. <br /> <br />But deep within me.. <br /> <br />I say, no! <br /> <br />I won't let myself cut open new scars, <br /> <br />I won't let myself get lost... <br /> <br />I won't be my past.. <br /> <br />The emptiness surrounds me now, <br /> <br />The cloud of sorrow rains on me, <br /> <br />Washing away my demented smile, <br /> <br />All of my thoughts rot in the box of darkness, <br /> <br />Here it goes, I whisper to my soul, <br /> <br />Here it goes, let it bleed, <br /> <br />Let it bleed all the hurt out, <br /> <br />Let the blood take over my life, <br /> <br />I wish I wasn't trapped, <br /> <br />I wish someone could of held the razor away, <br /> <br />I wish someone could of been here to wash away the tears of regret and defeat... <br /> <br />Now I stand facing the mirror, <br /> <br />I paint with my blood... <br /> <br />Wishing I wasn't the reflection infront of me, <br /> <br />Wishing I was someone worth a real try, worth honesty, <br /> <br />Worth care, Worth the truth.. <br /> <br />But I've been worth nothing but lust, games, scars, lies, <br /> <br />Hatred, and it's been tearing me up in pieces for years! <br /> <br />I sit in my room, I look out through the window, <br /> <br />My eyes search for hope in the skies, <br /> <br />But the skies hold no hope for me... <br /> <br />I fall asleep with the ghosts on my sides, <br /> <br />Telling me...death will not be easy!<br /><br />Petra Soliman<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/a-letter-of-hurt/
