A single picture has brought it all back again. <br />I can smell the smells <br /> and hear the sounds <br />as though it were yesterday <br />and not the ancient history of my youth. <br /> <br />I close my eyes and feel his hot breath on my face, <br />its sickenly sweet smell nauseats me. <br />His unshaven face touches mine <br />and I retch as the memory overwhelms me. <br /> <br />I can almost feel the cool air blowing in the tent <br />I hear the sound of cars going by, <br />a hundred, <br />a thousand, <br />one, <br />...God, <br />rushing off <br />going by <br />unaware <br />not knowing <br />oblivious <br />to my struggle <br />and the hot red pain <br />as I am awakened <br />My innocent, not lost, but stolen <br />(the awakening came) <br /> like the shock of a rapier piercing the heart of a novice fencer. <br />or a sun soaked body thrown into an icy river … <br />I was stunned by the revelation <br />paralyzed, <br />numbed <br />and mute. <br />All the whispers and snickers <br />Jibes and insinuations <br />Came into focus in an instant <br />I understood <br />Like adam, I am not nude, but naked on the inside <br />Shame, like a jacket falls on me, and I put it on <br />For it fits so well <br />Humiliation hangs over me and bends my head down low <br />My soul like clay was shaped by ugly hands <br />Disfigured, damaged dysfunctional forever <br /> <br />I looked into his eyes and I think “betrayed again”, <br />Treacherous brown eyes seem to follow me <br />Waiting for me, <br />I was foolish enough to be open and vulnerable, <br />gushing like a school girl with raw emotion. <br />He struck like a cobra, fangs sinking in, pumping poison <br />He has taken me, raped me and left me for dead <br /> <br />and i am once again <br />used and abandoned<br /><br />George Grogan<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/loss-of-innocence-5/
