I dropped off my heart <br />Like a kid at daycare on a warm sunny day <br />And while the children laugh and play outside <br />I sit alone wondering when mine will come home <br />But my heart will never be returned <br />An existential death that has come over me <br />For in my paradoxal constant of sinful reminders <br />Tells me my fate, and it is worse than death <br />Fated to love, and be shattered at best <br />With blood just to waste, drowning in it, my regrets <br />Such a capricious body I used to possess <br />Until I found the one that would ease all of my pain <br />And the minute that she hung me out to dry <br />Time to hang myself, but it can’t be that simple <br />Gutted grand juries sing verdicts in my mind <br />Of what punishment shall be thrown on the hopeless <br />All the pain I deserve, and never to stop loving her <br />Never to be myself again <br />She is me and I am her, we were always the same <br />To blind myself, and deafening horrors <br />Make feelings escape and make crying instinct <br />Caught in the net that I sewed for myself <br />Hung from the limb that I sat on to think <br />Belief that if I stare long enough into the sky <br />I can fly with the angels <br />But they will force me to be alive <br />My own sweetest angel <br />Holds a knife to my throat, a gun to my head <br />Forever I will live in this pain.<br /><br />Christopher's Dead<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/continuous-burning-the-sun-creates-for-me-a-shadow-to-hide-my-shame/
