Fell asleep last night with the TV on, <br />Oh, what a dream I had. <br />Dreamed I went and answered ev'ry single <br />One of those late night mail order ads. <br />Then four to six weeks later, <br />Much to my surprise, <br />The mailman came to my front door <br />And I couldn't believe my eyes. <br /> <br />He brought the Vegematic <br />And the Pocket Fisherman, too, <br />Illuminated, illustrated History of Life <br />And Box Car Willie with a ginsu knife, <br />A bamboo steamer and a garden weasel, too, <br />And a tie dyed day-glow souvenir shirt <br />From Six Flags Over Burbank. <br /> <br />Well, the doorbell rang all mornin', <br />All through the afternoon, <br />And I shook with fright as it rang all night <br />By the light of the Mastercard moon. <br />There was Federal Express in the pantry, <br /> <br />Parcel Post in the hall, <br />COD to the ceiling, <br />And I just couldn't pay for it all. <br /> <br />I got an egg scrambler <br />With a seal-a-meal carryin' case, <br />A set of Presidential Commemorative Plates <br />So I could eat my eggs off a President's face, <br />A minute mender <br />And a needle that'll knit or crochet <br />And an autographed photograph of Rin Tin Tin <br />At Six Flags Over Burbank. <br /> <br />Well I know that I was dreamin' <br />So I gave a mighty cheer <br />When I awoke, it was no joke <br />'Cause all that shit was here, <br />So if you fall asleep with the TV on <br />Let me tell you what to do. <br />Rip the telephone out of the wall <br />Unless you want this to happen to you. <br /> <br />You get Vegematic and the Pocket Fisherman, too, <br />Iluminated, illustrated History of Life <br />And Box Car Willie with a ginsu knife, <br />A bamboo steamer and a garden weasel, too, <br />And a tie dyed day-glow souvenir shirt <br />From Six Flags Over Burbank. <br /> <br />(by Steve Goodman, Mike Smith, Shel Silverstein)<br /><br />Sheldon Allan Silverstein<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/vegematic/
