Great Sultan, how wise are thy state compositions! <br />And oh, above all, I admire that Decree, <br />In which thou command'st, that all she politicians <br />Shall forthwith be strangled and cast in the sea. <br /> <br />'Tis my fortune to know a lean Benthamite spinster - <br />A maid, who her faith in old Jeremy puts; <br />Who talks, with a lisp, of the 'last new Westminster,' <br />And hopes you're delighted with 'Mill upon Gluts'; <br /> <br />Who tells you how clever one Mr. Fun-blank is, <br />How charming his Articles 'gainst the Nobility; - <br />And assures you that even a gentleman's rank is, <br />In Jeremy's school, of no sort of utility. <br /> <br />To see her, ye Gods, a new number perusing - <br />Art. 1 - 'On the Needle's variations', by Pl-e; <br />Art. 2 - By her fav'rite Fun-blank - so amusing! <br />'Dear man! he makes poetry quite a Law case.' <br /> <br />Art. 3 -'Upon Fallacies', Jeremy's own - <br />(Chief Fallacy being, his hope to find readers); - <br />Art. 4 - 'Upon Honesty', author unkown; - <br />Art. 5 - (by the young Mr. M-) 'Hints to Breeders'. <br /> <br />Oh, Sultan, oh, Sultan, though oft for the bag <br />And the bowstring, like thee, I am tempted to call - <br />Though drowning's too good for each blue-stocking hag, <br />I would bag this she Benthamite first of them all! <br /> <br />And, lest she should ever again lift her head <br />From the watery bottom, her clack to renew - <br />As a clog, as a sinker, far better than lead, <br />I would hang round her neck her own darling Review.<br /><br />Thomas Moore<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/ode-to-the-sublime-porte-2/
