The Blue and the Gray collided one day <br />In the future great town of Missouri, <br />And if all that we hear is the truth, 'twould appear <br />That they tackled each other with fury. <br /> <br />While the weather waxed hot they hove and they sot, <br />Like the scow in the famous old story, <br />And what made the fight an enjoyable sight <br />Was the fact that they fought con amore. <br /> <br />They as participants fought in such wise as was taught, <br />As beseemed the old days of the dragons, <br />When you led to the dance and defended with lance <br />The damsel you pledged in your flagons. <br /> <br />In their dialect way the knights of the Gray <br />Gave a flout at the buckeye bandana, <br />And the buckeye came back with a gosh-awful whack, <br />And that's what's the matter with Hannah. <br /> <br />This resisted attack took the Grays all a-back, <br />And feeling less coltish and frisky, <br />They resolved to elate the cause of their state, <br />And also their persons, with whisky. <br /> <br />Having made ample use of the treacherous juice, <br />Which some folks say stings like an adder, <br />They went back again at the handkerchief men, <br />Who slowly got madder and madder. <br /> <br />You can bet it was h--l in the Southern Hotel <br />And elsewhere, too many to mention, <br />But the worst of it all was achieved in the hall <br />Where the President held his convention. <br /> <br />They ripped and they hewed and they, sweating imbrued, <br />Volleyed and bellowed and thundered; <br />There was nothing to do until these yawpers got through, <br />So the rest of us waited and wondered. <br /> <br />As the result of these frays it appears that the Grays, <br />Who once were as chipper as daisies, <br />Have changed their complexion to one of dejection, <br />And at present are bluer than blazes.<br /><br />Eugene Field<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-blue-and-gray-2/
