Between Nose and Eyes a strange contest arose, <br />The spectacles set them unhappily wrong; <br />The point in dispute was, as all the world knows, <br />To which the said spectacles ought to belong. <br /> <br />So the Tongue was the Lawyer and argued the cause <br />With a great deal of skill, and a wig full of learning, <br />While chief baron Ear sat to balance the laws, <br />So famed for his talent in nicely discerning. <br /> <br />In behalf of the Nose, it will quickly appear, <br />And your lordship, he said, will undoubtedly find, <br />That the Nose has had spectacles always in wear, <br />Which amounts to possession time out of mind. <br /> <br />Then holding the spectacles up to the court, - <br />Your lordship observes they are made with a straddle, <br />As wide as the ridge of the Nose is, in short, <br />Designed to sit close to it, just like a saddle. <br /> <br />Again, would your lordship a moment suppose <br />('Tis a case that has happened and may be again), <br />That the visage or countenance had not a Nose, <br />Pray who would or who could wear spectacles then? <br /> <br />On the whole it appears, and my argument shows <br />With a reasoning the court will never condemn, <br />That the spectacles plainly were made for the Nose, <br />And the Nose was as plainly intended for them. <br /> <br />Then shifting his side, as a lawyer knows how, <br />He pleaded again in behalf of the Eyes, <br />But what were his arguments few people know, <br />For the court did not think they were equally wise. <br /> <br />So his lordship decreed, with a grave solemn tone, <br />Decisive and clear, without on if or but, - <br />That whenever the Nose put his spectacles on, <br />By daylight or candlelight - Eyes should be shut.<br /><br />William Cowper<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/report-of-an-adjudged-case/
