with apologies to Lord Tennyson <br /> <br />O swallow-tailed purveyor of college sprees, <br />O skilled to please the student fraternity, <br />Most honoured publican of Scotland, <br />Milton, a name to adorn the Cross Keys; <br />Whose chosen waiters, Samuel, Archibald, <br />Helped by the boots and marker at billiards, <br />Wait, as the smoke-filled, crowded chamber <br />Rings to the roar of a Gaelic chorus— <br />Me rather all those temperance hostelries, <br />The soda siphon fizzily murmuring, <br />And lime fruit juice and seltzer water <br />Charm, as a wanderer out in South Street, <br />Where some recruiting, eager Blue-Ribbonites <br />Spied me afar and caught by the Post Office, <br />And crimson-nosed the latest convert <br />Fastened the odious badge upon me.<br /><br />Robert Fuller Murray<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/milton-3/
