At six starting school overcome by the most <br />overpowering mystery of all: Where was I <br />before I had become, would there have only <br />been one long dark night of blackness where <br />my mind was if I had never been born? <br /> <br />Could the World have become without me <br />being aware of all-encompassing sensory <br />embrace? Troubled deeply by an image of <br />blackness that was me until I arrived in the <br />light, tried to figure it out <br /> <br />If the vacancy that would have been me were <br />never filled by light of my seeing eyes, if the <br />World never came into being for me, did it ever <br />exist – given that I would never have been <br />possible or remotely aware of it? <br /> <br />Would my life have been eternal unconscious <br />nothingness? How was it possible I escaped <br />the blackness whence I came, and did I not <br />come, would the World have been a non-event? <br />I was deeply troubled, all strange new things <br /> <br />The school compound, large fir trees standing <br />high, doves cooing morning greetings before <br />class, bright sunrays flooding the passage, a <br />wedding doll someone brought to school, the <br />most beautiful thing I had ever seen <br /> <br />If I’d never seen them then for me there would <br />not have been a World; where would I have <br />been before then, where and how? Easy to see <br />this perplexed state caused me headaches, <br />had to stop thinking in order to rest <br /> <br />Nightmare ideas of non-being and vagueness <br />without light – my consciousness just dimly <br />aware of blackness for eternity, fatiguing <br />and scary, knowing in the end my perceptions <br />were the only door to the world I’d ever have <br /> <br />and I was scared not knowing whence <br />I came and where I was headed…<br /><br />Margaret Alice<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/2010-06-21-non-being-rev/
