ALCOHOLICS UNANIMOUS <br /> <br />The head of blended Spirits <br /> saw his future looking bleak. <br />The case sales for Scotch Whiskey <br /> trended downward week to week <br /> <br />What was the cause of this decline? <br />Why were sales weak as water? <br />To find out he relied upon <br />his party loving daughters. <br /> <br />When they reported back to him <br />He nearly died from shock: <br />Folks weren’t merely “buying down” <br />because they were in hock. <br /> <br />Instead they met in basement clubs <br />And sat on folding chairs <br />Pouring out their troubles <br />To such strangers as were there. <br /> <br />They told him of a program <br />That sounded like a cult: <br />Twelve steps to salvation- <br />Start with putting down the cup. <br /> <br />They said the former customers <br />Had mentors they could call <br />To talk them out of drinking <br />if they longed for alcohol. <br /> <br />The head of blended spirits <br />Hatched a bold and daring plan- <br />ALCOHOLICS UNANIMOUS <br /> “The Friends of Old Grand Dad” <br /> <br />They’d meet in clubs and taverns <br />As you might surmise <br />And sponsored “beer pong” tournaments <br />with Whiskey as the prize. <br /> <br />The new club had its mentors too <br />Conveniently right in town <br />To talk folks into drinking <br />And to join them in a round.<br /><br />John F. McCullagh<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/alcoholics-unanimous/
