I swore never again to love, <br />Never again to care. <br />Promised myself to rise above – <br />Empty my soul – nothing – bare. <br />Yet here I am, again I have fallen. <br />Almost a year to date as Gypsy, <br />But Gypsy no more – He is callin’. <br />With love, he makes me high, makes me tipsy. <br />I want to believe, I want to trust. <br />But so long have I been left alone – <br />It is my trust to believe ‘love’ is a bust. <br />Has my soul forever been turned to stone? <br />Please take this thorn from my heart. <br />Make me believe you, in us. <br />Don’t make your sweet kiss bitter and tart. <br />Don’t fall for another ‘her’ – make me fuss. <br />How do I change how I perceive? <br />My paranoia plays me….or does it really? <br />How do I empty my pain into the pensive? <br />I say I control my hurt, but I know it controls me. <br />How do I stop being angry, jealous and bitter? <br />How do I put it behind me, lock that door? <br />Jealousy adds to my heart unwarranted litter. <br />But there is so much bitter salt within the sore <br />It turns my eyes red with rage. <br />God upon high, absolve my hatred. <br />Cleanse this soul of mine within its cage, <br />And help me not to be so cynically jaded. <br />He is good to me – the patient kind. <br />An earth angel molded by the sands of passion. <br />Should I finally allow love to be blind? <br />Rid my mind, hoping my fears are of irritation? <br />Though, I can’t help but think this one thought without plan: <br />So long as I am allowed, I plan to honestly love this one man.<br /><br />Conchita Mauer<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/just-thinking-14/
