Mistakenly thought I had done my best, and I was <br />wrong, boy was I wrong, I cannot blame anyone <br />but myself for failing again, M Scott Peck wrote in <br />his book “Road Less Travelled” that impatience is <br />childish and irrational, an indication that a person <br />cannot postpone his need to feel fulfilled - like an <br />adult should <br /> <br />If I were not so impatient I would have printed my as- <br />sessment, carefully studied it, comparing, changing <br />and improving, note subtle nuances, the only function <br />my life and job have is discovering my shortcomings, <br />I have not started addressing them yet, only learning <br />how far from average I am, have yet to reach the <br />height of mediocre <br /> <br />I am simply the most incompetent, no control over <br />temperament, the world is perfect, colleagues are <br />brilliant - their ethics impeccable – yet I cannot even <br />begin to emulate them, the fight for meaning in life <br />is too painful to continue and win, life per se is <br />meaningless, senseless, only spiritual truth <br />has any value <br /> <br />But it is not possible to withdraw and search for <br />answers, too afraid of hunger and suffering to <br />follow the example of swami’s and holy men <br />prostrate on nails, walking over hot coals <br />without burning; maybe after this life in <br />the cycle of reincarnation, my spirit <br />will be better equipped <br /> <br />To deal with the material world…<br /><br />Margaret Alice<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/2011-04-15-my-spirit/
