I can’t imagine what went wrong <br />To make everything else go wrong <br />Leaving me this numb, <br />This desperate, <br />Struggling against overpowering waves, <br />Suffocating, yet surviving, <br />Only to face everything agonizing. <br /> <br />Sobbing and shaking- I scream. <br />But all directions echo it back, <br />Deafening and maddening me. <br />Helpless and lost- I look around. <br /> But nothing holds any familiar shade. <br />A lump in throat and squeeze in heart <br />Tell nothing good’s going to start. <br /> <br />“Why me? ”, “Why this? ”, “Why now? ” <br />The heat of unanswered questions <br />Only leave me in thirst... <br />I’m now used to asking these myself <br />Asking world, <br />Asking God, <br />That they’ve become empty and hollow. <br /> <br />Even as I step on each thorn, <br />I take the next step, <br />Expecting soft petals caressing my feet <br />Only to have- to my utter disbelief, <br />Yet another one pierce and pain me… <br />Forcing me to take <br />Yet another drink, from the cup of resignation. <br /> <br />Fate raises her hand again <br />To strike me with terrible blows <br />Yet I look at her <br />In cold contempt and pity, <br />As one would, at a clueless clown, <br />Performing same old jokes over and over, <br />That no longer evokes any laughter. <br /> <br />“You are powerless to destroy me”, I laugh <br />A bitter, careless laugh <br />“Because I can’t be anymore destroyed…” <br /> <br />The mirth and joy filling the world <br />Seems just strangeness <br />With no meaning whatsoever… <br />What’s real is what’s happening to me <br />This terrifying darkness engulfing me. <br />And as I drown in this abject misery <br />I have lost even the strength to whisper- <br />“Someone please save me.”<br /><br />Maria Rose Dominic<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/drowning-in-despair/
