I'm all alone searching for this little piece of happiness, <br />For this little bit of joy, for this little piece of freedom. <br />But I shall never find it; not here not now. <br />Why did I have to be hypothesized by this drug, <br />Why do I feel the urge to put this in my veins, <br />Why must I smoke it, and fill my nose up with it. <br />Can someone tell me why am I addicted to these things. <br />They keep calling me and no matter how hard I try to ignore them <br />I can't I just can't, It's like I'm under their spell. <br />My family has giving up on me, NA don't seem to be helping me so what's next. <br />God? Ha I laugh at the idea, he gave up on me a long time ago. <br />So now I'm here stuck in a moment of time that refuse to go forward. <br />Steady rewinding the good times dwelling in the past, <br />Replaying the bad times and wondering where it all went wrong. <br />Was it my childhood being molested by my father, <br />Was it being teased by my classmates about being gay, <br />Was it the fact that my mother never gave a damn about me? <br />Is it right to blame my downfalls and short comings on others. <br />I am weak, I am ashamed, I am an addict. <br />For 15 years drugs has gotten the best of me. <br />It was my love, my friend, my food, my shelter, and my God. <br />But not no more and never again. <br />I still remember my first high, that very first high. <br />My god it wasn't nothing like it and now for 15 years I've been trying to reach it again. <br />But not no more and never again. <br />Today I am changing my life, <br />Today I am starting over all over again, <br />Today I am no longer an addict, I am an addict in recovery. <br />Yesterday was the last day drugs overpowered me <br />Today I'm living life without drugs one day at a time<br /><br />Craig Mize<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/fighting-the-fight/
