I've got hammers, some screwdrivers, <br />I've got wrenches by the score. <br />I've got screws - Yes, bags of nails, <br />A hundred hinges for fifty doors. <br /> <br />I've got sanders, I've got saws, <br />Electric drills - yes! Stapling guns. <br />I've got pliers, loads of chisels, <br />But D.I.Y for me's no fun. <br /> <br />I'm not much good at fixing things, <br />At decorating I've no cred. <br />But those tools just keep increasing - <br />I think they're mating in my shed! <br /> <br />I've got ladders, loads of brushes, <br />A box that's full of electric plugs. <br />I've got Allen keys in abundance <br />I hope that Allen soon turns up! <br /> <br />I've got tape measures by the metre, <br />I've got fillers of all kinds. <br />Why, I'm sure I've got a filler <br />For the crack on your behind! <br /> <br />I've got paint in half filled cans, <br />Seventeen paint roller trays. <br />I've got clippers, nippers, snippers - <br />A garden knome which kneels - Yes, prays! <br /> <br />I'm turning over a new leaf, <br />I'm getting rid of all my tools. <br />I'm going to give them all to charity <br />Or to my local vocational school. <br /> <br />So instead I get a man in <br />To repair each fault, each spill. <br />But the cost of these repairers <br />Means my shed is full of bills! <br /> <br />It seems there is no solution, <br />Pay my bills or tools I'll hoard. <br />So I'm sure I've got the answer - <br />I'll become a man-of-the-road!<br /><br />Joe Hughes visit joehughes.org.uk<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/tools-4/
