A message to (anyone) feeling this way: 'when does the pretending end,everyday get up hoping the day will be different. each day i have to hide what i am feeling and the thoughts that i have.each day is the same even if i do something different that day. could i say i feel this way cuz i am alone maybe.talked today to my therapist or at least tried to talk to her. i know everyone says i just should say whats going on and i have but i didn't think she believes that i would do anything. but i am so to the point i didn't care anymore. that i just want this life to end.the therapist says some small part of me wants to live but i have no clue where that part is. the only reason i am still around is i made a promise to a friend. and i so wish that friend would let go. why do i want to die im not sure besides from i cant deal with remembering my past that i think i just take up space. can say i have no life no reason to be, no reason for life. so i guess what i am saying is i have had enough of this life time to take the next ed step. no one can say i didn't give it a few mores days or even a few more years i have and its not a preeminent solution to a temporary problem its a solution to a long term problem one that doesn't get any better. <br /> <br />thanks to those of you who have talked to me before or answered post. real sorry to let anyone down. <br />dark wolf'
