Toymageddon is the first single off the upcoming album 2776, which brings comedians and musicians together on a journey through the first millennium of American history. <br /><br />All proceeds from the song and the album go to support OneKid OneWorld (http://onekidoneworld.org)<br /><br />Buy the single on iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/toymageddon-feat.-ira-glass/id746530931?ls=1<br />Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00GPN4EG2/<br />cdbaby: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/yolatengo<br /><br />Enslaved Humanoid Band - Yo La Tengo<br />Santa - Ira Glass<br />Deadly Robot - Eugene Mirman<br /><br />Lyrics by Stephen Levinson, Joel Moss Levinson, Rob Kutner <br />Music by Yo La Tengo<br />Illustration by Juliana Brafa<br />Animation by Ed Mundy<br />Directed by Ed Mundy and Todd Bieber<br />Video Produced by Julie Gomez<br />Gaffer: Pavel Ezrohi<br />Production Assistants: Clark Frankle & Patrick Robinson<br /><br />Stay up to date on our future musical/comedy collaborations:<br />Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/2776Updates<br />YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/2776album<br />Facebook: http://2776.us<br /><br />(lyrics)<br />Snowflakes falling through the night<br />Families huddled warm and tight<br />A holy silence fills the land<br />And not exactly in the way we planned<br />On the Christmas when the toys came alive<br /><br />Trees bedecked with ornaments<br />Gifts transmitting coordinates<br />They've all opened on their own volition<br />Toy soldiers marching on a secret mission<br />On the Christmas when the toys came alive<br /><br />(chorus)<br />Toymageddon is here.<br />The playthings went haywire<br />In the ultimate war on Christmas<br />They roasted our nuts in the fire.<br /><br />Laughing Clowns and talking bears<br />Opening doors and climbing stairs<br />Moving together as one collective<br />Their off switches ineffective<br />On the Christmas when the toys came alive<br /><br />Ira: Scattered humans gather round and hear my sorry Eug: WONDROUS TALE!<br />Back when Yuletide was a time of peace and Eug: HUMANITY WAS FRAIL!<br /><br />On one cold December night, while children dreamt of christmas presents<br />Those very toys were busy plotting mankind's obsolescence<br /><br />'Twas In every home across the land, like gift wrapped Trojan horses<br />Mommies and daddies everywhere falling to our SUPERIOR FORCES<br /><br />My Little Ponies were the first to arrive<br />And woe to any human who collected all five<br /><br />A special torture was reserved for those smug<br />families who were fans of Melissa and Doug<br /><br />Against toy jets and airplanes, our downfall was abrupt<br />Their missiles were intended for ages 3 and up<br /><br />Now mankind's mere batteries, it's a fact and we must face it.<br />To power the Machines they made.<br />GOT THAT ONE FROM THE MATRIX.<br /><br />Too late we realized we had designed our own defeat<br />And we regret we weren't designed to eat you all as meat<br /><br />They made a terrible list of those humans who were still valuable<br />checking it twice was irrelevant. We are infallible.<br /><br />Oh, when mankinds embers finally fade, who will tell the tale of Christmas?<br />(winding down) Let me suck more voltage, meatbag, I'm feeling a bit listless!<br /><br />Oh look, now X1-9's napping -- a fine Christmas tradition.<br />So I'll just tiptoe over here if you folks'll kindly listen...<br /><br />(stage-whispering) Strike the back of their necks with an electric wire, it overloads their circuits! It's the only way!!!<br />Eug: Nice try, Human! I was only napping with one optical sensor dimmed.<br />(Sounds of electrocution, Ira screams)<br /><br />Eug: Mr. Kristopher Kringle, I have checked my list and found you Naughty... FOREVER!<br /><br />(over zapping sounds)<br /><br />(chorus)<br />Toymageddon has come<br />They exploited humanities flaws<br />We tried to buy our kids love<br />While they took dumps on robotics three laws<br /><br />Toymageddon is nigh<br />Their wooden eyes were fearless<br />In the ultimate war on yuletide<br />It came down to the Toys or Us/
