Elmore Help Desk is a very cool and funny song, LISTEN NOW! Lyrics are posted belowKaren: Good morning, Elmore Help Desk! <br />How can I assist you? <br /> <br />Crocodile Woman: I've just been abandoned by my brand new fiancé. <br /> <br />Karen: I'm gonna need his details <br />So I can assist you. <br /> <br />Crocodile Woman: I know it sounds unlikely <br />But, I never got his name... <br /> <br />[The phone rings; Rocky is calling] <br /> <br />Karen: Sorry caller, hold the line! <br />Good morning, Elmore Help Desk! <br />How can I be of service? <br /> <br />Rocky: A crazy alligator lady wants to be my bride! <br /> <br />Karen: And what is it about her <br />That's making you so nervous? <br /> <br />Rocky: 87 teeth, and a butt that's five foot wide. <br /> <br />[Another phone rings; Marvin is calling] <br /> <br />Karen: Sorry caller, hold the line! <br />Good morning, Elmore Help Desk! <br />How can I assist you? <br /> <br />Marvin: I'm gonna need a bit of help to get me standing straight. <br /> <br />Karen: And do you have a wife, sir <br />Or someone else who's missed you? <br /> <br />Marvin: I don't, but if you're offering <br />I'll pick you up at eight. <br /> <br />[Yet another phone rings; Mr. Robinson is calling. Karen is growing a bit frantic] <br /> <br />Karen: 'Morning, Elmore Help Desk! <br />How can I assist you? <br /> <br />Mr. Robinson: I wanna sue the lousy flying head who made me crash! <br /> <br />Karen: There is no need to shout, sir <br />I really must insist you- <br /> <br />Mr. Robinson: Our taxes pay your wages, I'm entitled to be brash! <br /> <br />[Another phone rings; it is Hank. Karen is freaking out at this point.] <br /> <br />Karen: Yes?! Help Desk?! <br />What seems to be the crisis? <br /> <br />Hank: An accident has left me very widely spread. <br /> <br />Karen: Stay calm and wait for help, sir. <br />That's what my advice is. <br /> <br />Hank: I would, but I'm afraid I have an itch upon my head. <br /> <br />Karen: [starts yelling] Sorry, caller, hold the line! <br />[She accidentally switches back to Mr. Robinson's line instead of the Crocodile Woman's.] <br />Morning ma'am, I'm back now. <br />I found your lost fiancé. <br /> <br />Mr. Robinson: Who're you calling "ma'am?" <br />This service is appalling! <br /> <br />Karen: Sorry, sir, I'm trying! <br />There's no need to be nasty! <br /> <br />Marvin: I'd have been back home by now <br />if I'd just started crawling. <br /> <br />Karen: 'Morning, Elmore Help Desk- <br /> <br />Rocky: Stop that crazy gator! <br /> <br />Crocodile Woman: Again I am a crocodile! I'm eccentric, I'm not mad! <br /> <br />Rocky: Oh, boy... <br /> <br />Hank: Can someone scratch me? <br /> <br />Marvin: I think I'll call back later. <br /> <br />Mr. Robinson: I'll have your job for this! <br /> <br />Rocky: Wait a sec, is that my dad? <br /> <br />Karen: [extremely angry] OK, enough already! [says each line as she slams a phone onto its receiver] <br />[To Mr. Robinson] You need some manners! <br />[To Rocky] And, you need a life! <br />[To Hank] You need some spanners! <br />[To Marvin] And, you need a wife! <br />[To the Crocodile Woman] You need a pay-off! <br />Now, I need a day off!
