I know that when I came out as trans, the biggest change was not in going from male to female; it<br />was going from being a person with a secret to a person without one — at least that one, anyway.<br />In writing my most recent novel, about a woman whose family doesn’t know her history,<br />I talked to a woman whose husband did not know his wife was born a different gender.<br />“Survivor” is a reality show, but the issues that Mr. Smith had to deal with — and its potential manipulation by the Jeff Varners of the world — are ones<br />that many people, both trans and not, have had to confront: What private information is ours to keep?<br />There are many people like Mr. Smith, who live in what used to be called “stealth.” But since<br />that word implies, à la Mr. Varner, that transgender people are deceptive, it’s not as common today.<br />For others, sexual intimacy is less the point than the emotional kind; I know a woman who has no qualms about sleeping with men who don’t know her history,<br />but the moment she finds herself falling in love, she feels morally obliged to share it.<br />Outed as Transgender on ‘Survivor’ — and in Real Life -<br />Jennifer Finney Boylan<br />There they were, gathered around the fire at Tribal Council on Wednesday night’s episode of “Survivor.” One of the contestants,<br />Jeff Varner, in a last-ditch attempt to keep himself from being voted off the show, turned to a man by his side.
