The person who is best suited to us is not the person who shares our every taste (he or she doesn’t exist),<br />but the person who can negotiate differences in taste intelligently — the person who is good at disagreement.<br />Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person -<br />By ALAIN de BOTTONMAY 28, 2016<br />IT’S one of the things we are most afraid might happen to us.<br />Alain de Botton (@alaindebotton) is the author of the novel “The Course of Love.”<br />A version of this op-ed appears in print on May 29, 2016, on Page SR1 of the New York edition with the headline: Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person.<br />How logical, then, that we should as grown-ups find ourselves rejecting certain candidates for marriage not because they are wrong<br />but because they are too right — too balanced, mature, understanding and reliable — given that in our hearts, such rightness feels foreign.<br />The good news is that it doesn’t matter if we find we have married the wrong person.<br />We marry the wrong people because we don’t associate being loved with feeling happy.<br />And yet we do it all the same: We marry the wrong person.<br />The failure of one particular partner to save us from our grief and melancholy is not an argument against<br />that person and no sign that a union deserves to fail or be upgraded.
