"If you can bounce in six inch heels all night<br />And still walk home in your bare feet<br />If you can keep two passions burning bright<br />And see there`s still some romance in defeat<br /><br />If you can hit a foreign beach without a tan<br />Or brave the howling sleet in just a shirt<br />If you know you are easily the better man<br />When side by side with suits in just a skirt<br /><br />If you can picnic in the pelting rain<br />With kamikaze midgies in the mud<br />Or grit your teeth and put up with the pain<br />Of seeing in the New Year in the scud<br /><br />If you can wait and wait for 1p change<br />Then proudly give the lot to charity<br />And know for certain it`s not strange<br />To call lunch dinner and your dinner, tea<br /><br />If you can handle folk who call you jock<br />Then you`ll have really earned your Irn–Bru<br />You’ll thank your Mum for keeping you in stock<br />And what is more, you`ll feel phenomenal too."
