Funny short sayings and humorous quotes that will keep you glued to a humor mood, Dude, instead of the Boob Tube. Funny quotations for a fun attitude, in case yours is skewed, screwed, or subdued, and you need it renewed. <br /> <br />Links to more TV humor at bottom. <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br />Funny Quotations: <br />TV and Radio, Group 1 <br /> <br />1. So long as there’s a jingle in your head, television isn’t free. <br />- Jason Love <br /> <br />2. Cable TV is now evenly divided between shows about preparing food and shows about losing weight. <br />- Andy Borowitz <br /> <br />3. One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us. <br />- Kurt Vonnegut <br /> <br />4. Local TV news finds the stupidest person they can, and if that person understands the story, they don't use it. <br />- Dave Barry <br /> <br />5. I turned up the brightness control on my TV but it didn’t work. The show got even dumber. <br />- Greg Tamblyn <br /> <br /> <br /> <br />Funny Short Sayings: <br />TV and Radio, Group 2 <br /> <br />6. Let us all bask in television's warm glowing warming glow. <br />Homer Simpson <br /> <br />7. Lifetime: Television for Women - because women love to see horrible things happen to other women. <br />- Ruminations.com <br /> <br />8. My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too. <br />- Peter De Vries <br /> <br />8. If you miss the news for a day, you miss everything. If you miss the news for a year, you don’t miss anything. <br />- Jay Leno <br /> <br />10. Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything. <br />- Fred Allen <br /> <br /> <br /> <br />Funny Short Sayings: <br />TV and Radio, Group 3 <br /> <br />11. I may have made a lot of bad decisions in life, but at least I don't watch daytime television. <br />- Andy Borowitz <br /> <br />12. Television is a medium because anything well done is rare. <br />- Fred Allen <br /> <br />13. Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk. <br />- Fran Lebowitz <br /> <br />14. Imitation is the sincerest form of television. <br />- Fred Allen <br /> <br />15. 98 percent of American homes have TV sets. Which means the other two percent of the households have to generate their own sex and violence. <br />- Franklin P. Jones <br /> <br /> <br /> <br />Funny Quotations: <br />TV and Radio, Group 4 <br /> <br />16. In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows. <br />- Woody Allen <br /> <br />17. It's not our fault our generation has short attention spans, Dad. We watch an appalling amount of TV. <br />- Lisa Simpson <br /> <br />18. It's hard to decide if TV makes morons out of everyone, or if it mirrors Americans who really are morons to begin with. <br />- Martin Mull <br /> <br />19. Nothing in the long history of mankind can be everything to everyone — except maybe The Simpsons. <br />- Joe Poznanski <br /> <br />20. If you have to get your news from TV, get it from the Comedy Channel. It’s just as accurate, with the added benefit of making you forget your Prozac for a few minutes. <br />- Greg Tamblyn <br /> <br /> <br /> <br />Humorous Quotes: <br />TV Quotes, Group 5 <br /> <br />21. May [this] be the year that we collectively tune out Reality TV and tune into...reality! <br />- Swami Beyondananda (Steve Bhaerman) <br /> <br />22. The nuclear generator of brain sludge is television. <br />- Dave Barry <br /> <br />23. Toward the end of the Cretaceous Period, the earth was struck by an asteroid that wiped out 75% of all the species on the planet. Can we honestly say that we had a worse year than those species did? Yes we can, because they were not exposed to Jersey Shore. <br />- Dave Barry <br /> <br />24. When I got my first television set I stopped caring so much about close relationships. <br />- Andy Warhol <br /> <br />25. Television is an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn’t have in your home. <br />- David Frost <br /> <br /> <br />2Save <br />Funny Short Sayings: <br />TV and Radio, Group 6 <br /> <br />26. Fox News gives you both sides of every story: The President’s side, and the Vice-President’s side. <br />- Stephen Colbert, on the Bush presidency <br /> <br />27. Television turned out to be exactly as bad as the most irritating and pedantic intellectuals of the ‘50s said it was going to be. <br />- Fran Lebowitz <br /> <br />28. Imagine what it would be like if TV were actually good. It would be the end of everything we know. <br />- Marvin Minsky <br /> <br />29. What do you get when you add media to democracy? You get mediocracy. <br />- Peter Bergman <br /> <br />30. I’ve been thinking about joining T.V. Watchers Anonymous, but I can’t figure out what channel it’s on. <br />- Melanie White <br /> <br />31. Watching cable news because you want to be informed is like going to Olive Garden because you want to live in Italy. <br />- Andy Borowitz <br />32. We can put television in its proper light by supposing that Gutenberg's great invention had been directed at printing only comic books. <br />Robert M. Hutchins <br /> <br />33. If it weren’t for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we’d still be eating frozen radio dinners. <br />- Johnny Carson
