Mary Roach says the brain gets in the way of executing sex tips well.<br /><br />Question: Do sex tips help? <br />Mary Roach: I think that the women's magazines and a lot of those quick tips for better sex, I think that they do people a disservice, sometimes, because they become very focused on; they're thinking, "Okay, I read that I should do this and am I doing it right?" <br />There's a certain amount of anxiety that comes from thinking, "I don't know if I'm suppose to do it this way and I don't know if he's responding and I don't know; am I doing this right?" <br />Rather than just letting it go where it takes you and losing yourself in it instead of trying this sort of menu things you read in a women's magazine. <br />And there's a certain amount of pressure, I think, also, among very young girls to do what's expected of them. I don't know what they're getting out of; I just don't think that's the way to have good sex. <br />In terms of practical how-to; the one study I found; the one sexual therapy technique that worked well for women and seem to be pretty simple was, like, mindfulness training. <br />It's just all about not spectating, not watching yourself, just being in the moment and not being anxious about what's expected of you; are you reacting right or is your partner reacting right. That's easier said than done. It's like somebody telling you, "Relax!" You're relaxed if you're relaxed. <br />Recorded on: April 6, 2009.<br /><br />Question: Do sex tips help? <br />Mary Roach: I think that the women's magazines and a lot of those quick tips for better sex, I think that they do people a disservice, sometimes, because they become very focused on; they're thinking, "Okay, I read that I should do this and am I doing it right?" <br />There's a certain amount of anxiety that comes from thinking, "I don't know if I'm suppose to do it this way and I don't know if he's responding and I don't know; am I doing this right?" <br />Rather than just letting it go where it takes you and losing yourself in it instead of trying this sort of menu things you read in a women's magazine. <br />And there's a certain amount of pressure, I think, also, among very young girls to do what's expected of them. I don't know what they're getting out of; I just don't think that's the way to have good sex. <br />In terms of practical how-to; the one study I found; the one sexual therapy technique that worked well for women and seem to be pretty simple was, like, mindfulness training. <br />It's just all about not spectating, not watching yourself, just being in the moment and not being anxious about what's expected of you; are you reacting right or is your partner reacting right. That's easier said than done. It's like somebody telling you, "Relax!" You're relaxed if you're relaxed. <br />Recorded on: April 6, 2009.
