so today we are going to talk about how<br />to deal with people whom you can't<br />divorce we may have 500 to 5,000 people<br />in our contact list on our cell phone on<br />our contact book if you are not close to<br />everybody<br />not everybody can affect us where it<br />will affect our happiness permanently so<br />this is this segment is totally devoted<br />to the people who can truly affect your<br />happiness permanently and if you really<br />look at that I believe that it falls<br />between 20 to 50 people at the most in<br />any single individuals life where these<br />people can truly affect your happiness<br />permanently the people who will be<br />included in this would be obviously<br />spouses children long-term friends<br />co-workers partners and certain other<br />extended family members so how do you<br />deal with them we all know that means<br />those circumstances we come back and say<br />I can never win this you know even<br />though we said that in desperation we<br />are probably very true let us accept the<br />fact that the people whom who has an<br />ability to make us permanently unhappy<br />we will just never win against them and<br />I call that these are the people you can<br />never divorce so how do we deal with<br />these people whom we can never divorce<br />relatively speaking is not that<br />difficult a task it's difficult to<br />understand and difficult to implement<br />initially but once you get used to it<br />then it becomes a part of life the first<br />and the foremost requirement of dealing<br />with people whom you can't divorce is<br />never said ultimatum that we are not<br />going to follow through this is the<br />the mistake most of us make let it be our<br />children let it be our partner if they<br />say if you don't do this or else I'll do<br />this and that's a complete elimination<br />of relationship that's an ultimatum<br />and I strongly advocate that giving<br />the ultimatum that we are not going to<br />follow-through or we're going to follow<br />through with a lot of pain is probably<br />not worth doing it so the best approach<br />is not to give ultimatum but present<br />your position and say here is what I<br />think we should be doing well here is I<br />think you should be doing and then let<br />nature take its course<br />versus saying if you don't do this I'm<br />going to completely severe the<br />relationship<br />the second important rule of dealing<br />with people whom you can't divorce is<br />set the boundaries lot of times we have<br />seen that in very close relationships we<br />really don't tell each other what is<br />expected out of each other or what is<br />each other duty is and it's very very<br />important that we define our duties in<br />those kinds of relationships if you can<br />do it in writing that's even better<br />but if not verbally fine but if we do it<br />verbally your writing<br />it needs to be regularly followed up so<br />there is no misunderstanding on both<br />sides at any time and once here those<br />boundaries set I promise you there are<br />many instances we will avoid fights<br />unhappiness because both parties will<br />constantly know what each other will do<br />for each other.
