1. “Every parent is basically Oscar the Grouch: cranky, unshowered, and living in a trash can.”<br />2. “The real monster is the puppeteer that crushes and wastes all the cookies in Cookie Monster's puppet mouth.”<br />3. “The original Big Bird has retired from Sesame Street. I’m told he was delicious.”<br />4. “Wish my wife had told me that people don't tailgate for "Elmo Live" before I packed all the beer in the cooler.”<br />5.
