Partial Lyrics:<br /><br />The Saga of Perry Grin<br /><br />Well I don’t really know how to begin<br />But I’ve got to tell you about a man named Perry Grin<br />One day there was a fight and he got real mad<br />And when it was all over, he’d killed his dad<br />“Oh no,” he thought, I really didn’t mean to<br />But if I get caught with the weapon I’ll rue<br />The day I was born because prison is tough<br />And right now I don’t have the time to get buff<br /><br />What was that argument over anyway <br />And well time to hide under the archway<br />And find a place that will take me in no matter where I’ve been<br />So he opened up his map and his bottle of gin <br />His fingers and eyes searched for an absolute gem<br />And he said “I’ve got it, I’ll head off to Bethlehem<br />I read about it in a book somewhere that made it sound nice<br />The only downside is that to get there I’ll have to sell all my dice"<br /><br />When the ship made its departure and started to dock<br />Perry Gin fell off and was greeted by a man in a frock<br />There sure are around here a whole lot of preachers<br />Maybe they’ll turn out for me to be good teachers<br />He began to learn all the tricks of the trade<br />And rules of the road and the way of the blade<br />One of the monks asked him if he had a Lord and Savior<br />“No,” "Well that explains all your misbehavior"<br /><br />"What have I done that wasn’t in line?"<br />"Well for one you’ve stole all the church’s wine"<br />"That’s no big deal," said Perry Grin in a voice so shrill<br />That the monk could no longer write with his quill<br />The monk said, "Let me tell you about a man who forgot to cut his hair<br />He turned over tables and did what others wouldn’t dare<br />So the authorities said, "hey I found a very nice tree,"<br />And they stuck him up there without even a plea"<br /><br />"Look," Perry Grin said, “You’ve got me persuaded<br />If you’ll stop talking soon I won’t feel so invaded."<br />"So it’s a deal then," said the hungry priest that skipped lunch<br />"That you would be convinced by this I’d had a hunch"<br />So Perry Grin did the normal thing and was submerged<br />In order to quell the feeling that he’d been urged<br />There’s something about people when they turn like this<br />They trade this world for some imaginary bliss<br /><br />So Perry Grin wore his collar pretty well<br />In the monk’s house he’d started to dwell<br />Telling the people the good news is all he’d do<br />At first he avoided judgment like it was a taboo<br />Then he decided he needed to turn up the heat a bit<br />All the sinners around him would yell, "hey man just quit"<br />He’d reply, "You’ll be sorry when the stars fall from the sky,"<br />Though others thought this sounded like a moon made of pie<br /><br />One of them finally said, "Hey didn’t he kill a guy?"<br />And Perry Grin realized he’d be left out to dry<br />The security guard came by and said, "let me see your hands,"<br />And he drilled holes in them like the best laid plans<br />Poor Perry Grin was thrown directly in the clink<br />It wasn’t all bad though, they even brought him a shrink<br />The cigar puffing guy asked him what the hell’s going on<br />While the diagnosis was being given Perry Grin let out a big yawn<br />
