A mum refuses to force her kids to share and has separate “personal” and “community” toys for them to play together with.<br /><br />Emily Feret, 30, doesn’t make her children – Hannah, four, and Levi, two - share their personal toys or possessions with each other or friends.<br /><br />She asks them if there are any toys they don’t want to share and hides them when friends come over - leaving out “community toys” which anyone can play with.<br /><br />The stay-at-home mum follows a gentle parenting approach and says she treats her children “like people” and with “respect”.<br /><br />Emily, who lives with husband her Greg, a salesman, tries to avoid yelling and shouting and gives her kids correlated consequences – such as taking a toy away that her kids are squabbling over.<br /><br />Emily, from Chicago, Illinois, US, said: “As an adult if I didn’t want to share something no one would force me to.<br /><br />“So I give my kids the same respect.<br /><br />“I ask them if any toys they don’t want to share and put them away if guests are coming over.<br /><br />“I have toys which are just individually theirs and toys which I call community toys which are everybody’s.<br /><br />“I treat my children like people.”<br /><br />Emily tries to give her children correlated or natural consequences if they are doing something wrong.<br /><br />She said: “If they are fighting over a community toy I’ll offer a solution such as a timer so they each have a bit of time with the toy.<br /><br />“If they are still fighting I’ll then take the toy away.<br /><br />“I try and make the consequence make sense to the situation.<br /><br />“If my kids are running and I tell them to stop because they may fall and they don’t listen and then fall that’s a natural consequence.”<br /><br />Emily tries to talk to her kids calmly and avoids raising her voice.<br /><br />She said: “I try and get on their level and talk calmly.<br /><br />“If I do raise my voice I’ll apologise and explain why I yelled.<br /><br /> “I try and speak to them from a place of calm.<br /><br />“If my child is jumping on the furniture I’ll say – ‘hey can we not jump on the couch.’<br /><br />“But I’ll give them alternative for something they can jump on.<br /><br />“If they continue, I’ll get them down.<br /><br />“I let them be upset and frustrated and tell them the names for these emotions.”<br /><br />Emily also lets her daughter Hannah stand up at dinner time rather than sitting still at the table.<br /><br />She said: “She’s so bouncy all the time.<br /><br />“She has a hard time sitting still to eat dinner so I let her move around.<br /><br />“She stands to eat a meal at home.<br /><br />“There are no societal expectations in the comfort of our home.” <br /><br />She is also happy to let Hannah pick out her own outfits.<br /><br />Emily said: “She has been picking out her outfits since she was two.<br /><br />“She has a blast doing it.<br /><br />“I still have rules and boundaries in place.<br /><br />“But I want my kids to have a say and express themselves as long as it’s not harming themselves or anyone else.”
