A relationship expert who went on 150 first dates before finding love has set up an app to help couples stay together.<br /><br />Ali Maggioncalda, said she went on her epic date journey after an "amicable" break up with her college sweetheart at the age of 25. <br /><br />Her five- year dating period started in April 2017 in London where she was studying at the Royal College of Art.<br /><br />She had several month-long breaks in between before returning to the Bay Area in California in August 2019. <br /><br />Over the next five years she "grew a lot" while using dating apps to meet potential suitor.<br /><br />The Stanford University graduate, 31, from San Francisco met her partner Cameron, a tech specialist, in August 2022 in San Francisco. <br /><br />After graduating Ali founded 'Lovewick', an app which helps couples deepen their relationship with questions to explore together, date ideas, and research-led relationship advice. <br /><br />Ali said: "When I found myself single and completely new to the “dating strangers” experience the idea of dating apps and having thousands of possibilities was exciting but quickly also became a bit heartbreaking.<br /><br />"On dating apps there’s this perception of infinite choice, we are so freaking critical and quick to reject someone based on one little “ick” in their profile. <br /><br />"I made a lot of mistakes here initially. Instead of saying, “eh, he’s not tall enough” or “Hmm, they didn’t go to a very good school”, pause to really reflect on the underlying values associated with those criticisms, and then search for those values in profiles instead. <br /><br />"For instance, going to a good school was a poor shortcut I used to measure whether someone was curious, disciplined, and able to support themselves financially.<br /><br />During her dating years Ali said she learned more about herself by meeting so many people - as well as what she wanted from a relationship.<br /><br />She said: "The biggest learning for me was to stop apologizing for or minimizing my relationship needs. It took way too long for me to realise that I needed to stop trying to convince people to want a committed relationship. <br /><br />"I found myself being very accommodating, shrinking my needs to not seem like I’m too much or too needy, but that always eventually eroded my confidence in relation to the people I was dating.<br /><br />"I learned that dating someone who is reassuring and consistent between their words and actions became my number one priority, but it took years to be honest.<br /><br />"I took having to chase someone a bit, or them being a bit ambiguous about their interest in me, as a challenge rather than a pretty obvious signal of incompatibility for way longer than I’d like to admit. <br /><br />"Another big one: someone who is an actively “good listener”, who is curious and who actively tries to understand opinions and beliefs that conflict with their own. <br /><br />"And finally, I realized a big need of mine is to feel appreciated and seen for my “quirkier” qualities."
