A woman who gained weight after childbirth and the menopause says she hated her body so much - she considered suicide.<br /><br />Billie Steele, 51, has shed more than 60 kilos (132 lbs) over the years.<br /><br />But during her weight loss journey she has fallen into depression and gone to rehab. <br /><br />At the age of 35, Billie gave birth to her second child and weighed around 87 kilos (191 lbs). <br /><br />In nine months, she had gained 32 kilograms (70 lbs). <br /><br />Billie worked hard to lose the weight she had put on and by the time she was 46, she had finally managed to lose 30 kilograms (66 lbs).<br /><br />Just two years later, at the age of 48, Billie started menopause. <br /><br />The effects of menopause meant that Billie quickly put the weight that she has spent more than 10 years losing back on. <br /><br />For the mum-of-two, it was a very difficult time. She felt "insecure, worthless and unlovable." <br /><br />She fell into depression and even considered suicide. <br /><br />When she realised she had hit rock bottom, she admitted herself to a mental health facility.<br /><br />Billie, who is from Newcastle, New South Wales, Australia, said: "I had planned to take my own life several years ago and I had gotten very close to executing that plan.<br /><br />"I made a very harrowing phone call to a Rehabilitation Centre in Sydney and begged them to take me because I literally did not know how to move forward with my life. <br /><br />"Thankfully they admitted me and I was treated there for 21 days for depression, adult and childhood trauma and anxiety. <br /><br />"I was medicated for these mental issues for some time and I really didn't want to be on this medication for the rest of my life.<br /><br />"So I started to wonder if I could manage my mental health issues with a lifestyle change and that's when a tentative plan for change began to percolate."<br /><br />Billie left rehab in December 2019 and in May 2021 she joined her local gym for a 12-week challenge to get herself started.<br /><br />Billie said: "I was so nervous and self-conscious, I didn't stay long on my first visit but I did it despite how terrified I was. <br /><br />"Then I kept going back, I got more confident using the equipment, I was getting stronger mentally and physically and my mood started to change. <br /><br />"I started to feel hopeful, instead of feeling kind of 'meh' all the time. <br /><br />"I was starting to feel like my old self."<br /><br />As her physical health started to improve, so did her mental health.<br /><br />Billie started to rely less on her anti-depressants and eventually weaned herself off them around one year ago.<br /><br />Then her eating habits drastically changed and she removed processed food, sugar and more recently alcohol.
