A woman who underwent a double mastectomy aged 19 after identifying as a trans man for seven years has decided to “de-transition”.<br /><br />Nikita Teran, 24, grew up as a female but began to identify as a man aged 17.<br /><br />She started taking testosterone aged 18 and even underwent a mastectomy aged 19.<br /><br />But after three years as identifying as a man, Nikita started to explore her femininity – dressing in “girly” clothes on weekends and in gay clubs.<br /><br />She stopped taking testosterone after experiencing painful symptoms such as painful orgasms, cramps and spotting, she said.<br /><br />Nikita said she started to feel she was taking a more female role sexually and decided she wanted to "de-transition".<br /><br />She started the process in February 2023 – going through treatment to lose her facial hair and had voice therapy to regain a higher pitch.<br /><br />Now she finally feels “comfortable” in her body and herself.<br /><br />Nikita, a nursing student, from Stockholm, Sweden, said: “I was sort of having this double life – living as a girl on the weekends and a man during the week.<br /><br />“When I turned 19, I had a double mastectomy.<br /><br />“With my chest – I’m comfortable with it.<br /><br />“I don’t care about getting a breast reduction.<br /><br />“I’m excited to start exploring this new identity.<br /><br />“I’m feeling good.”<br /><br />Nikita didn’t have any strong feelings about 'being a boy' when she was growing up.<br /><br />She said: “I was a tomboy growing up. I liked playing with cars and climbing trees.<br /><br />“Later in my teens I didn’t really fit in with other girls.<br /><br />“I was more comfortable expressing myself as ‘boyish’.”<br /><br />Nikita said she didn’t realise it at the time but says she started to develop gender dysphoria and aged 16 she went to see a doctor about her feelings.<br /><br />She said: “I felt something was wrong.<br /><br />“At the end of the treatment I said ‘I don’t want to be a girl’.”<br /><br />Nikita was referred to a centre for transgender people aged 17 and was put on testosterone when she turned 18 – and changed her name legally to Nicholas.<br /><br />It took six months before Nikita saw any changes but then started to see her facial hair grow and voice deepen.<br /><br />She said: “I was feeling really good.<br /><br />“I was really happy.”<br /><br />Nikita then went onto have a double mastectomy aged 19.<br /><br />She said: “Once it healed it felt great.”<br /><br />She stayed on testosterone until aged 22 when she started to experience some side effects.<br /><br />Nikita said: “I got bad effects so stopped for a while, with the intention of starting again.<br /><br />“I had bad cramps and spotting and random pains.”<br /><br />By this point Nikita was content with her voice and facial hair so decided to stop all together – and continued to identify as a man.<br /><br />At aged 20, she had started to explore her sexuality too and gradually started to feel “weird”. <br /><br />She said: “The longer I explored the more I noticed I started felling weird.<br /><br />“I started taking the female role in the bedroom.<br /><br />“By 23, I got to the point where I couldn’t lie to myself anymore.<br /><br />“I was looking for ways to express my femininity.<br /><br />“I started looking like a fem boy.”<br /><br />Nikita felt “excited” to start exploring this new identity and would dress up in comfortable spaces in girly clothes. <br /><br />She continued to present as a man throughout the rest of the week – and to her family.<br /><br />She said: “I started at gay clubs – expressing my femininity.”<br /><br />Gradually Nikita started to realise that she wanted to identify as female again and reached out to the clinic in December 2022.<br /><br />She started to de-transitioning in February 2023 and changed her pronouns in November 2023, and now identifies as female.<br /><br />Nikita said: “I was having to accept that everything else is a mistake.<br /><br />“I don’t want to feel so resentful or upset about it.<br /><br />“I’m getting help for facial hair removal and voice therapy.<br /><br />“It will take some time to adjust.<br /><br />“I’m feeling better.”
