An expert has revealed the dos and don'ts of a wedding speech - including not reading off a phone and making sure to prepare in advance.<br /><br />Heidi Ellert-McDermott, 47, delivered her own wedding speech and helps other people - including Radio 2 DJ Scott Mills - deliver theirs.<br /><br />She says speeches have the power to "surprise" and "delight" wedding guests and make people in the room feel loved - leaving them remembering the speech for the rest og their lives.<br /><br />Heidi has revealed her dos and don'ts for a good speech including ditching the stag do tales and ticking the etiquette boxes.<br /><br />Heidi, author and founder of Speechy, from Wotton-under-Edge, Gloucestershire, said: "As a guest, I want to know where the love is. <br /><br />"I want to learn something about the couple, either individually or as a duo, and I want to be left rooting for their marriage.<br /><br />"Speeches have the power to surprise and delight, and a great speech creates the roadmap of the couple's relationship for the guests."<br /><br />On Heidi's wedding day, she says she got more compliments about her speech than her dress.<br /><br />She recommends starting to write the speech at least two months before the big day. <br /><br />She said: "A wedding speech is not something you should be knocking out in an afternoon. <br /><br />"It has the potential to create a cherished memory and impact your relationships with people for decades to come."<br /><br />One of Heidi's biggest pet peeves when it comes to a wedding speeches are clichés like 'thank you for making me a better person' because they are "meaningless" and "slightly annoying". <br /><br />She said: "Admittedly, talking about love in a unique way is difficult but read through the first draft of your speech and cut those platitudes. <br /><br />"Instead, focus on the everyday reality of your relationship and bring that into focus.<br /><br />"Are they the only person you can watch the Mandalorian with? Do they make your porridge just right? Get real and get specific.<br /><br />"Adjectives also make us lazy and a wedding speech dull. Bring the adjectives to life with real life examples."<br /><br />Heidi says humour is a great way of engaging the audience in a speech but insists there is no need to act like a professional comedian.<br /><br />Heidi said: "The trick is to be as specific as possible. Even positive qualities can be humorous if you dissect them.<br /><br />"Ditch the stag do tales and only bother with the proposal story if something went wrong and it’s funny."<br /><br />A trend that is a big plus for Heidi is a 'double act speech' - where the bride and groom or same sex couples take part in the speech together.<br /><br />She said: "You both get to thank your friends and family, no one talks on behalf of the other and you can rehearse your speech together.<br /><br />"It also takes the pressure off just one of you, allows you to discuss your speech and have fun with it along the way."<br /><br />Dos - <br />- Tick the etiquette boxes<br />- Prepare you speech in advance<br />- Find your own humour<br />- Make everyone in the room feel loved <br />- Collaborate with your partner on the speech<br />- Don't stick to traditional roles of who gives the speech<br /><br />Don'ts - <br />- Don't read off phone<br />- Don't do a presentation<br />- Don't cry straight away<br />- Don't speak for longer than 10 minutes<br />- No crude gags
