A single mum used a sperm donor because she didn't want to wait for the right relationship - and said one happy parent is better than two unhappy ones.<br /><br />Lydia Shaw, 29, felt ready for children by aged 24 after finding herself financially stable.<br /><br />She didn't want to wait to find the right woman and started looking into having a baby by herself but put it on hold when the pandemic hit.<br /><br />After the breakdown of a relationship Lydia felt even more determined to do it alone to make her dream come true.<br /><br />She picked a sperm donor who had similar features to her family and had her first round of intrauterine insemination (IUI) in June 2023.<br /><br />Following a chemical pregnancy - where the egg fertilises but doesn't take - she had a second round in August 2023 and was delighted when she fell pregnant.<br /><br />She welcomed her son, now eight weeks old, in May 2024 weighing 8lbs 13oz and couldn't be happier.<br /><br />Lydia, a marketer, living in Fife, Scotland said: "I didn't want to wait for someone who could or couldn't be right.<br /><br />"It could take a decade to find someone who is a good fit for me.<br /><br />"It's important he grows up with one happy partner rather than two that are unhappy."<br /><br />Lydia says she "grew up quick" going straight into work at aged 18 and buying a house at aged 23.<br /><br />She said: "By 21 I thought 'I think I'd be a good parent'.<br /><br />"I was ready for kids.<br /><br />"I'm gay and the dating pool is quite small."<br /><br />Lydia started looking into the process of doing it but then the pandemic hit.<br /><br />She said: "It was always something that was in the back of my mind."<br /><br />After the breakdown of a relationship Lydia realised this was something she wanted to do by herself.<br /><br />Her parents - Jane, 61, and Dave, 63, - supported her decision and she went for her consultation in April 2023.<br /><br />Lydia had to go private, spending around £8k in total, as the NHS don't tend to fund single women or same sex couples unless a certain criteria is met, she said.<br /><br />She picked out her sperm donor from a sperm bank and chose one who complied with the new UK law to release donor information to donor children at aged 18.<br /><br />She said: "I wanted him to look like he belonged in my wider family.<br /><br />"I wanted him to have a sense of belonging.<br /><br />"I have a letter he has written to potential donor children.<br /><br />"I have a sense of who he is."<br /><br />Lydia went for her first round of IUI in June 2023 and tested positive at first but started bleeding later that day and had a chemical pregnancy.<br /><br />She said: "That afternoon I clotted.<br /><br />"I didn't let it set me back."<br /><br />Lydia went for round two in August 2023 and found out she was pregnant the day after her birthday.<br /><br />She said: "It was a birthday present.<br /><br />"I found out the gender. I was so excited."<br /><br />Lydia enjoyed pregnancy and seeing her baby grow. <br /><br />She said: "It was really lovely. The detail you can see of the development was really lovely."<br /><br />Lydia was taken in to Victoria Hospital, Kirkcaldy after three false labours and doctors broke her waters to start contractions.<br /><br />She said: "His heart rate kept double dipping."<br /><br />Doctors decided to take her down for an emergency c-section.<br /><br />Lydia lost two litres of blood but her baby was born healthy and she got a glimpse of him.<br /><br />She said: "They laid him on my chest."<br /><br />After recovering Lydia was able to go and see and hold her son properly.<br /><br />She said: "I started taking him all in. It felt very surreal.<br /><br />"This is what I have been working towards.<br /><br />"He's a gorgeous baby."<br /><br />Lydia says he has the same facial features as her and the same face shape as the donor.<br /><br />She said: "He is very follically blessed."<br /><br />Lydia has loved getting to know her newborn.<br /><br />She said: "It's been gorgeous.<br /><br />"I've been blessed he's been a good sleeper. <br /><br />"He's developing a personality.<br /><br />"He's very happy, smiley and very strong."<br /><br />Lydia has even been able to find his half sister on a Facebook group - who was conceived using the same sperm donor.<br /><br />She feels there would have been resentment if she had had a baby in an unhappy relationship.<br /><br />She said: "Society tells you're going to meet a partner and have babies.<br /><br />"This is my plan A.<br /><br />"I didn't want to have to wait to meet someone when I'm ready.<br /><br />"I'm capable of bringing up a baby."<br /><br />Lydia hopes to inspire others to "feel comfortable in making decisions in what's right for you."<br /><br />She said: "It wasn't dependent on having the right relationship.<br /><br />"When the right relationship comes along I'll know.<br /><br />"We don't have to be dependent on each other."
