Original release date: July 17, 2013<br /><br />This thrift shop parody is based on true events.<br />GET THIS SONG ON iTUNES: http://bit.ly/ThriftShopMP3<br />SHARE on Facebook/Twitter: http://bit.ly/SHAREthrift<br /><br />Watch the Original video - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QK8mJJ...<br /><br />All music performed, recorded and produced by Chad Wild Clay (B.B. Bling). No copyrighted material was used. This version is all newly created music, lyrics and video.<br /><br />If you like parodies and funny popular songs similar to The Key of Awesome (Barely Political), Bart Baker and Weird Al Yankovic, subscribe & follow me here:<br />http://www.facebook.com/chadwildclay<br />http://twitter.com/chadwildclay<br />http://www.youtube.com/user/chadwildclay<br /><br />LYRICS<br />[Verse 1:]<br />Nah, Walk up to the spa like, "What up, this is a garage!"<br />ahh it's a dump I walked inside was a mirage<br />nice looking digs and so I say Chao<br />the girl is like, Damn, that's a big long honkey<br />Robe in' in, helping me, think this girl is seventeen,<br />Dressed in all black, 'cept my flippy floppies, those are green<br />what is she saying to me? Girl's speaking vietnamese<br />Buddy said to watch this, girls from behind those sheets<br />(Niceeeeeeeeee)<br />Renig, meant my muslces ARE tense!<br /><br />Watchin em walking in, 'bout to go and give some compliments<br />That's when I am recognicent, none of em even talk English<br />But all my buddies talk Viet<br />they are hunting and chattin' and<br />Spendin' their money and they headin in back when I felt a pinch<br /><br />Turned and saw a grandma smile, and she tugged my hand a while,<br />No for real - this your grandma? - is she gonna rub me down? (Thank you!)<br />smelled of Pho soup and some malt liquor<br />looked around, was no exit, so I tried to trick her<br />"I have an open knee sore, I gotta go to the morgue"<br />She got a deep blank look, then I sought out the Lord<br />"Hello, hello, my grace man, my fellow<br />my brain ain't got no thoughts of the profane, hell no<br />Please don't let this old thing tickle me like elmo"<br />And then I heard in, God's voice: "You're at a bordello"<br /><br />[Hook 1]<br />My buddies got some babes<br />but I got a twenty thousand year old grandma<br />I'm getting massaged, trying to be mellow<br />What is a bordello?<br /><br /><br />[Verse 2:]<br />What you know about elderly folk on you jogging?<br />What you knowin' about crushin' your voice box in?<br />I'm choking, I'm choking, your perched on my esophagus<br />One man's neck is another gram's footrest<br />Thank you Grandma for inflaming my bad back man that hurt<br />'Cause right now I feel a concussion<br />And then she whispered in my ear but I smelled "onions"<br />It must a been ninety years since at the dentist..."onions"<br />this grandma is handy, with drama she grabbed me<br />she flipped me over so uncanny that I had to cuss out like a trucker<br />I felt my undies getting tugged and it made me wonder<br />does she like farming? cause she just tried to milk my utter<br />I jumped up "Whoa", then Granny asks "You No Like?"<br />I'm like "Yo - you're not a cougar, more a T-Rex<br />It is intuition, a tent I will not be pitching<br />Granny's feelings must a been hurt, she was crying and a sniffling<br />I felt ba
