T. Hakola- words/music, guitars, bass, piano... <br />violin-Bénédicte Villain, drums-Zoé Hochberg & Tatiana Mladenovitch <br />contact/info: www.theohakola.com <br /><br />THE BABY SONG <br /><br />I was looking for a change, to sing a song I’d never sung <br />and I found it in babies and how I’d never had one <br />how they’re ugly as a Trump, shriveled old men <br />how on milk they get drunk and puke all over the playpen <br />and no matter how many times you tell them to abstain <br />they’ll do it again and again, again and again <br /><br />Self-centered little fiends, they crap wherever they like <br />then take forever to learn how and where to do it right <br />And by the time they have teeth and can finally chew <br />if they don’t like their feed, they’ll spit that up on you too <br />If they don’t like... anything they’ll wail and whine till they’re blue <br />and your ears will be ringing by the time they’re finally through <br />It’s a simple fact of life, a tribulation so true: <br />Babies only care for themselves, babies care nothing for you <br /><br />But despite the roaring din and boring waterworks, <br />there’s something to be said for those nasty little jerks, <br />something to be said for telling the unvarnished truth <br />and that’s what they’re all yelling until their last milk tooth <br /><br />I want this, I want that, I’m too cold, I’m too hot <br />I want more, I want less, happy I am, happy I’m not <br />Never going in circles (except when they try to walk) <br />No beating around the bush in baby straight talk <br />Truth incarnate and no hint of vanity in this downy concentrate... <br />of humanity <br /><br />Ah, but you have to carry them everywhere, some can’t even crawl <br />And spouting nothing but gibberish, they make no sense at all <br />The time you waste trying to decipher ‘em, you’ll never get that back <br />and then you have to diaper ‘em, going down the river of baby scat <br />Tiny tyrants, pint-sized autocrats, <br />Exploiting your affection, they abuse your best intentions, <br />and leave you regretting sidestepping contraception <br /><br />With their pampered pleas and cries to be coddled and nursed <br />and their grievance-gushing eyes, lord, babies are the worst <br />It’s a simple fact of life, a sad reality oh so true: <br />Babies only care for themselves, babies care nothing for you <br /><br />I’ll never be a seeder, never be a breeder, never one day multiply <br />never ever know how it feels to hear your very own baby cry <br />But this is not the end of the world, for the world’s long overrun <br />Better care for those already there melting in the unfiltered sun <br />They didn’t ask to be here, to survive getting by on the dregs <br />but the smoking sphere we’re leaving them is on its last legs... <br />
