Dexter’s Deadly Halloween Romance <br />By Reid Baer <br /><br />Thank you for seeing me doctor - <br />you see I have this friend, no, no … <br />more like a family member who <br />I’m very concerned about ‘cause <br /><br />He has this certain … mentality <br />when it comes to women. Oh, well <br />it’s difficult to explain; he’s <br />a man like all men, any man <br /><br />is when it comes to females you <br />know he’s like two people at least: <br />one can be adoring and caring, <br />the other separate and distinct . <br /><br />I think he has secrets in his <br />thoughts seeking out beautifully wounded <br />women to help them ostensibly - <br />to listen to them – or save them <br /><br />from themselves but he can’t save himself <br />from himself where a girl and sex <br />are concerned! Truth be told he will <br />find one – like stalk one – then fixate <br /><br />on her like she was … his next meal. <br />Yeah, like a vampire he’ll put his <br />sharp teeth into the nap of her <br />neck and drain her body dry of <br /><br />necessary fluids - blood and all! <br />Now it gets really creepy like <br />in a weird psychotic way like <br />a serial killer he finds this <br /><br />super charged sexuality <br />from the conquest and then afterwards <br />he can’t catch a glimpse of who he <br />is - not even in a full length mirror. <br /><br />It’s a terrible cycle, doc. <br />You gotta help him he’s like a - <br />real Dexter – a Dexter izer – <br />good and bad like cycles in a <br /><br />Maytag washing machine he’s a <br />condemned human being half alive. <br />Yeah, like a zombie on steroids <br />with a poisoned love potion in <br /><br />a needle; I tell you he goes <br />too far, with this business like a <br />sick romantic version of a <br />swine flu virus, he says. Whatta fake! <br /><br />And then he’s perplexed when his wife – <br />that’s right – his wife! asks him why he <br />holds his head at night as though he <br />has a very very bad head ache. <br />-
