10) Next terrorist attack to be Easter morning on an airline from Denmark to LA after a man blows up the plane with exploding “pop rocks” bubble gum <br /><br />9) “Airport Full Body Scans” is the new big hit TV show of the season<br /><br />8) Obama is discovered in an affair with Tiger Wood’s girlfriend Rachel Uchitel and many other white women<br /><br />7) Michelle Obama runs off with Hillary Clinton, they are married in San Francisco, and together run for presidency in 2014<br /><br />6) End of the world 2012 is postponed to unlucky 2013<br /><br />5) Elin Nordegren marries Charlie Sheen gets divorced, marries Mel Gibson and gets divorced – ends up with lots more money<br /><br />4) Britney Spears has Lady Gaga’s baby<br /><br />3) Brett Favre retires, signs with Arizona Cardinals, then immediately retires<br /><br />2) Sexy Secretary of Treasury Tim Geitner appears in Playgirl Magazine<br /><br />1) Michael Jackson re-emerges as superstar after being cloned from a piece of his leftover nose found in Simon Cowell’s freezer<br />-
