My body remains lifeless, <br />Lethargic, <br />Longing <br />For the one, <br />The only, <br />Instant relief <br />From this weight <br />That has become my crippling disease. <br />I lay drenched in a toxic sweat <br />In what I refer to as a comatose sleep, <br />Unaware of exactly how many hours, <br />Days and nights are lost within this state of oblivion <br />My eyes struggle to remain open, <br />My mind searches the space it resides <br />Persistently craving – <br />Tormented <br />As it endlessly hunts <br />For the chemical needed for my recovery. <br />With my eyes closed <br />I see it, <br />With my eyes open <br />It flashes <br />Over and over <br />Like a luminescent exit sign <br />Giving me clear direction toward <br />The path that is my escape <br />I know what will end the nightmare <br />Of this self denying want and desire <br />I know how to stop this incessant yearn <br />This need will never leave me alone <br />Until I satisfy the hunger <br />I know what it is I am longing for <br />In my blood and in my mind <br />I fumble blindly for my phone <br />I dial the number I know all too well <br />The answer is all the strength I need <br />To stumble from my bed <br />To my feet, <br />I reach for my keys <br />To put an end <br />Once again <br />To this tale of shame and self defeat <br />As yet again I lose the game <br />I choose to play on my own <br />Alone<br /><br />CHARMAINE SIMPSON<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/my-mind-game/
