Peter A Crowther challenge for Scarborough Gypsy to: “write a poem about the evils of drink in a slurred voice and let it include the words ‘metamorphosis’, ‘bottle-nosed whale’, and ‘second cousin’.” <br /> <br />I’ve been down me local thish morning <br />The Blottoe Nosed Whale is it’s name <br />It’s been through a meta-morph-oshis <br />But the God awful shtench is the shame <br /> <br />Hic! <br /> <br />I’m so bloody drunk at the moment <br />I stink I’m about to trow up <br />Don’t be tempted by drink now I warns you <br />Don’t be tempted to filleth your cup <br /> <br />Hic! <br /> <br />I started the day off on Tiza <br />And progreshed with a nod onto beer <br />Then my shecond coushin Elisha <br />Gave me sherry that made me quite queer <br />So to get rid the tashte I gulped whisky <br />And followed that down with shum rum <br />But I started to feel rather frishky <br />And fondled the barman’s dogs bum <br /> <br />Hic! <br /> <br />‘cause it’s evil I shell you, it’s evil <br />It makes total fools out of men <br />And it also makes you see drubble <br />If you hold up five now I see ten.<br /><br />Scarborough Gypsy<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/hic/
