contact/info: www.theohakola.com <br /><br />JUNKY (The Confessions of JD Vance) <br /><br />My name is JD Vance and it’s a sorry tale I tell <br />for I fell for the golden calf and now I’m going to hell <br />I was born Rust Belt riffraff, no silver spoon in my mouth, <br />but the lure of loot took me and my values all went south <br />> <br />I was “a never Trump guy” until the Trump guys won <br />Declared “I never liked him” then had to change my tune <br />Said he might be “America’s Hitler” until he made me come <br />to attention any time he talked or walked into a room <br />I called him a “fraud,” called him “unfit,” <br />a quack pill to relieve our pain <br />his promised fix all cut counterfeit <br />and “the needle in America’s collective vein” <br />“My god what an idiot!” I did once tweet <br />but when he took my hand and offered me a seat <br />at that table piled high with horse and red meat <br />I cuckolded my country and kissed the traitor’s feet <br />> <br />‘Cause I got a soul like a slinky, I’m supremely supine <br />and like Lisa Loopner’s dad, I was born without a spine <br />I wanted what I’d never had, lord, wanted it so bad <br />it left me kneeling unclad at the MAGA shrine <br />He’s an “Opioid for the masses,” I did proclaim <br />back in the elegiac days when I still had a brain <br />Now I’m strung out on hot flashes in the ashes of my campaign <br />and it’s white light white heat, mama, driving that train <br />> <br />He is “cultural heroin” is what I did maintain <br />before going down to the crossroads <br />to sell my soul to the devil and throw in with a gang <br />of filthy rich predator assholes <br />A whole slew of views I did then have to delete <br />for that heroin’s now my life, and it’s my wife... so to speak <br />I put aside all morals to sate my lust for laurels <br />said I do when he wooed me to be his lawfully vetted veep <br />Yeah, Donald threw me a bone and I saw a door to glory <br />and sold my soul for a home in the Naval Observatory <br />Punched with no hesitancy my ticket to the vice-presidency <br />Topped off my apostasy with a lament that will live in infamy, <br />an off-key minstrelsy, oh, this silk-stocking elegy <br />has soiled evermore my legacy with GOP depravity... <br />> <br />For I’m as supple as a slinky, I’m as tough as a Twinkie <br />and like Lisa Loopner’s pop, don’t got me no backbone <br />With my moral compass shot and my cover now blown <br />I’ll shape-shift to the top and kowtow till the cows come home <br />They say he’s all conniving, no more loyal than a rat <br />They say they saw him knifing Mike Pence in the back <br />But the die has cast me as his flunky, lo, the groveling junky <br />swilling the orange Kool-Aid and shooting up orange smack...
